I signed up for this ski clinic,( Beat the Steeps) , at Schweitzer. My buddy and I, he needed a credit, and I thought “I hate black diamonds” I’m doing this! I still had some ski-school payouts and was ahead in the winter budget. The Psia website said any level skier was welcome to this clinic. I was soooo excited, I’m going to master this! Ohhh yeah! I’ve already done quite a few blacks at Schweitzer, during another clinic last year! This is gonna rock!
Two week’s before my clinic, WTH was I thinking……I hate black diamonds, I suck at skiing. I really don’t want to go…. So then I add in my girl’s club, basically because”I need this” and they will make me follow through. They were free skiing Schweitzer, but still would hold me to my clinic!
We arrive at the mountain with ten minutes or so to spare. I’m freaking out! I’m trying to remind and ground myself, your here; you need this, to be a better skier, to gain confidence, to build your skills….. You want this. You can do this, you already have skied this terrain, your fine.
Ok I AM SO TOTALLY NOT OK OR FINE! I actually am worrying about my heart rate, which is racing at 122 bpm. As I set up to give our instructors a sample of our skiing capabilities. The clinic was open to any level 1 and above Psia member regardless of skill. As the others in the clinic ski away my boots actually start shaking. I’m literally shaking in my boots. These guys are great skiers and I’m already misplaced. I take my turn last and just try to breathe, I’m going to die today…trying to keep up. I actually am nauseous at the end of the ski run.
We ride the lift back up to run it again. I’m totally having a panic attack. At the top Bryle our other clinician calls my name. Bryle was supposed to take the less seasoned ski group, so I payed attention knowing that was to be my instructor.”Hi Buryle! I already know I’m with you!” I say.
Buryle informs me that him will work 1:1 for the morning then I can practice what I’ve learned after our clinic. I’m literally barfing in my mouth a bit. We have a clinic with 12 other people and I suck so bad at skiing that I need a private lesson from one of our clinicians. I can’t stop shaking, I can’t breathe.
Bryle and I set off from the group, my heart rate is about 150. We are heading the wrong way, which is FINE, I mean I did a run here with girls a week ago. Bryle informs me that he wants me to be comfortable on the ski runs we do together. There’s only one blue where we are going, and my cat-track isn’t groomed. I think the sweat is dripping and puddling in my boots, I might have a heart attack, or a stroke, is my face numb….
We ride the T bar up to the top. Bryle says again and reiterates that he wants me to me comfortable in the ski runs we do. At the top I realized I did this run with girls, it wasn’t pretty… But I had already made it through. Then he starts me out with breathing. When we turn left we breath in and right we breathe out. He obviously knows I’m still in a panick.
Soon after We calm me down. Wth I am a mental patient…. Bryle takes me into the cowboy. We ride and ride! We even ride a bike, while skiing. After I get control of myself, I really learn a lot. I realize with the haunts of previous instructors, I don’t suck… I’m on a different level. We are all just learning, on different levels.
I signed up for a clinic that I qualified for. The others were above my level and Psia came through! My nerves and self-doubt are my own. I am adventurous!”Jacque you will become a better skier because that’s what you want to do” S. Kovaks. A big thanks to my mentors who give me the hope and security and idea’s….that end me in such uncomfortable situations! Your truly inspiring! Live outside your comfort zone, untill your comfortable!